Before I delve into this, I want to preface by saying our journey began long before we even knew it! What do I mean? I mean, God has been working on this for a long time ... but I only now see all those pieces! I can now see that His hand was guiding this for over a year before He brought our little girl to our attention!
I can go back as far as my own childhood, we had several families within our church that adopted (both domestically and internationally) and I believe seeing those families was the first stirring in my heart that adoption was a good, good thing. My trip to Australia in 2015, without that trip I would not have had a passport - something required to put in a letter of intent to adopt. (I might add, my cousin paid for my plane tickets AND accommodations, otherwise I could not have gone) Though I have always had a heart to adopt, without personally knowing other families who have adopted (and all of us being able to spend some time with them) - the rest of my family may have had a harder time with the idea. If I had not decided (I truly believe it was God prompting, He knew) to get serious about weight loss, my bmi would have exceeded China's requirement - an even bigger deal now as waivers are not being granted and people who had waivers at PA (pre-approval) are not getting their LOA (official approval after all documents are in). These are just a few examples, there's so many more pieces ... but number one, to me: if we had not had our little girl, Zoey, and known the absolute joy of parenting a child with down syndrome - we may not have had such open hearts. It is not highly likely we would have even been aware of children with special needs needing forever families. I am so thankful for each of my children and the lessons their lives have and continue to teach me ... and I am so thankful for that extra chromosome of Zoey's and how having a child with down syndrome has changed our lives in such beautiful and amazing ways!
and now, how this journey began ...
On November 8, 2016 I decided to look at Reece's Rainbow (an online advocacy site for waiting children). This is something I do often, seeing those sweet faces touches my heart and I always pray they will find their forever families! I had started with the list of kiddos in the Miracle of Christmas Campaign (definitely look that up later this year, November 1) looking for a child we could donate to. You get an ornament to hang on your tree and I thought that was so neat ... and sometimes that sweet face hanging on your tree ends up being a child you add to your family. I felt a stir in my heart and had the thought ... what if that happened for us? I quickly pushed the thought aside and remembered the point was to donate to help a child get home to their family, this wasn't the time for our family. I got a little distracted (or so I thought) and eventually ended up in the section of little ones with down syndrome, imagine that ... I had scrolled through the "babies", ages 0-2. I thought to myself "oh, I'll come back in the morning and look more at the MACC list to find a child to sponsor" ... then I clicked into the kids ages 3-5 with down syndrome, I couldn't resist I guess. Face after face of adorableness - as usual, I'm always "in love" with every single sweetie!
and then it happened ...
~first glimpse of our girl~
I came to "Angel", as she's called on RR.
I honestly can't explain it, but I couldn't look away.
I read her bio, not a whole lot of information ...
but I felt an immediate connection to this little girl!
I took some screen shots, I just felt like I needed to hold onto her a little bit - then I went to bed. Over the next week, I couldn't stop thinking about little "Angel". I kept returning to her RR page to see her and read her bio - over and over. She was growing so strongly in my heart. I knew there had to be a reason, maybe God was telling me she needs prayer?
... so, November 15th I printed her photo, wrote a "pray for Angel" note and tacked both to our wall. That would be my reminder to not just waste this connection, but to lift up prayers for her each time she came to my mind. I was sure of one thing: there was definitely some reason she was so heavily on my heart.
The next day we ended up donating to her RR fund. It was actually G's (that's my hubby) idea. When he saw the RR page on the computer (I had forgotten to close it) he asked if I had donated, I hadn't yet and he suggested we do. "Angel" wasn't part of the MACC program - but I knew she was who I wanted to donate to, and so we did.
I want to pause for a moment to talk about some things that happened that first week of having this precious girl's photo on our wall ... to put it simply, we all fell in love with her. I don't want to name names, but I had two children that had never been real open to the idea of adoption - but here they were asking if we could adopt her, talking about names we could give her, I was witnessing transformation right before my very eyes and it was astounding! Again, God's hand.
... November 18th I was talking with the boys and they shared some thoughts - and it was confirmed, the three older kiddos were completely on board with having a new sister. Zoey was even making mention of being a big sister! ... and I will say, I had felt like her mama since the moment I first saw her. I never told anyone this, I mean - I didn't want sound like a crazy person! But, it's the reality ... the connection I felt that very first night was like nothing I've ever experienced before. By now I had reached out to a few friends for prayer, I didn't want to take control and especially in such a huge decision, adoption, I wanted to know this was absolutely from God.
Now I will say, my G is a man of few words. I could tell though that he was falling in love (so to say) just as much as the rest of us. Being a practical thinker his concern was how to come up with the funds to finance an adoption. So there, we were stuck.
... what happened from November 19th to December 2nd was a LOT of prayer.
I had asked my closest friends to pray and I had shared with some of my friends who have adopted what was going on. I prayed a lot and I will say God gave me so much peace, despite the fact that waiting for answers is not my strength.
By now I had also reached out to Reece's Rainbow for more information and they had put me in contact with an adoption agency that had "Angel's" file. However, it turned out that she actually wasn't listed with them anymore. Somehow or another I ended up in several adoption groups on facebook, I made mention of our sweet girl and someone pointed me in the direction of the agency she is listed with. I had her file and a few photos and was in contact with a few ladies from the agency. I now knew that "Angel" was four years old, the information on RR was a bit outdated. Not too much else was new information. We got to see a video from October 2016, sweet girl is so quiet ... and they had shaved her head - no one knows why.
December 3, 2016
A day I will never, ever forget.
At this point we were all on board, but G was still thinking about his final answer (those darn finances, I will say it's not to be taken lightly as it is truly a daunting figure). I was sharing some new information with G, when he asked me "what's her name?".
I started saying "well, she's 'Angel' on Reeces Rainbow and 'S----' at the agency". He said again, "but what's her name?". "I'm not sure how to pronounce her Chinese name (we can't share that, either, fyi)" I said, and he replied "well, she has to have a name". So we started having a conversation about names! I shared the ones I liked, of course he didn't care for any of them - haha. Then he shared one he liked, it was ok ... I told him "I like ----, but I'm not so sure about ---- (the nickname he mentioned)". That's when it all shifted, as he replied ...
"come on, you know I always get the name"
I'll level with you, I was oblivious. I was so confused. "What do you mean you always get the name?" ... to which he answered ...
"I always name them"
(meaning, he always names our children)
Naturally, I questioned "what are you saying?" as my face failed to hide the joy about to erupt!
... and he said, "ok".
That was it folks, the biggest yes I think we've ever said!
Of course I started crying tears of joy!
a special prayer ...
It didn't take me long to jump on my phone to start sharing the news with close family & friends. I didn't want to just leave it in messenger and of course no one was around, but I managed to catch one of my closest friends online and told her! Here's where things get pretty incredible, yet again! Her and I had chatted earlier that day and I had shared that I was still (not so patiently) waiting for my hubby's decision. (Again, his hang up was the giant leap of faith it would be financially - I don't want anyone thinking anything otherwise) She asked if that decision had just been made, between when we had talked earlier and now ... she also asked "are you freakin kiding me?" haha! I told her I was not kidding! She went on to share that after we talked she had been praying. She was specifically praying that we would have a clear path and that G would either "get on board" or "close the door" for me. Talk about confirmation. That right there folks gave me chills ... and more tears of joy! It had seemed like his answer had come out of nowhere, but now I knew it was once again God's hand!
so, that's how this journey began.
We sent in our agency application & pre-approval paper work that week. It was difficult receiving PA during Christmas as everyone was closed, but now we've hit the ground running with ordering documents, filling out forms, and trying to get organized to get everything done as quickly as possible!
keep praying for us everyone, we can feel it - we've had so much support already!
I can absolutely feel the love!
