another step closer & what comes next ...

Today I got this email:

and you better believe I was absolutely thrilled!!!  Yesterday I sort of had a feeling - I kept checking my email and thinking how cool it would be to get the I-800 approval on the hub's birthday ... and we did!!!  

So what's next?  I thought it might be helpful for me to do a little timeline here - let's start at the beginning and you can see where we're at!

China adoption timeline:

*Let me preface this by saying the first step (& therefore some subsequent steps) can look different for each family.  If you choose to adopt and let the agency match you to your child, then choosing an agency is step one.  As you all know, that was not us.  We were matched by divine intervention while looking at an advocacy site (Reece's Rainbow) and so for us, and many families, we "found the child first" and then signed with the agency she was listed with.  I will be sharing the steps as they've been for us! (*our dates)

1. submit pre-approval for identified child 

*December 7, 2016

2. wait for CCCWA to reach a decision (1-2 weeks)

3. receive pre-approval from CCCWA

*December 25, 2016 - we found out December 26, 2017

4. start home study (3-4 months to complete)

*January 23, 2017

5. simultaneously with #4, start dossier paperwork and gathering documents (3-4 months to complete)

*we started ordering documents in December 2016 and filling out paperwork as soon as we had pre-approval

6. complete home study

*March 21, 2017

7. submit I-800a (this is general approval from US immigration to adopt, 6-8 weeks to be processed)

*March 22, 2017

8. fingerprint appointment (you get a letter that your I-800a was received and then wait for a letter telling you your appointment to go in for fingerprints)

*April 14, 2017

9. DTC (send authenticated dossier to CCCWA, 1-2 weeks to log in)

*May 30, 2017

10. LID (log in date for dossier: the dossier gets logged into the system, then goes into translation, then is "in review" ... 8-10 weeks to LSC)

*June 13, 2017 LID   *June 23, 2017 I found out we were already "in process of review"

11. LSC (letter seeking confirmation: this is China's official approval to adopt the child and you sign to agree that you want to!)

*July 24, 2017

12. submit I-800 & signed LSC to CIS (this is immigration approval again, but for the specific child - you've been working on this while waiting for LSC ... 4-5 weeks to get this "provisional approval")

*August 2, 2017

13. I-800 provisional approval

*August 28, 2017 we received an RFE (request for evidence, I blogged about this - I somehow left a form out that then needed to be sent)

*August 31, 2017 I found out, via an email reply from our officer at the NBC (National Benefits Center) -I had emailed August 25- that we were granted provisional approval August 30!!!

Where we are TODAY: August 31, 2017

14. NVC letter (aka GUZ # ... 2-3 weeks)

15. complete DS-260 (more visa stuff, filed online)

16. article 5 submitted (more paperwork that must be dropped off at the US consulate and then picked up about 2 weeks later - it is then sent to CCCWA (4-5 weeks according to timeline from my agency)

17. Travel permission

18. agency requests CA (consulate appointment)

19. once CA is confirmed, you make your travel arrangements!

20. GO GET YOUR PRECIOUS BABE!!!

when ya mess up and how I feel ...

I was anxious all weekend, hoping that monday would bring with it an I800 approval.  Instead, it brought an RFE (Request for Evidence - which is the form you get when something is missing).  I'll be honest, I just wanted to cry.  I tried so hard not to mess up the I800 and here I managed to completely forget one of the forms.  I don't know how it happened, but all that can be done is to get it sent in (thank goodness the agency is able to do this - it should be to CIS by tomorrow!).

Can I say something super duper honest ... adoption is hard.  This is hard guys.

It's hard to wake up each day thinking of our daughter so far away and just wishing she was in our home, it's an ache that I've never known.  It's hard to keep from feeling stressed about the finances - I actually avoid sitting down to "do the figures" because it's just too much these days.  I don't want to have to think about how much money we still need, I'd much rather make a shopping list for Ruby and start checking things off so we have everything ready for her.  It's hard to feel alone.  Let me explain, because this is a tricky one.  In fact, I was feeling super guilty and like I must be crazy until a friend said to me "it's lonely".  Since then I've read several other people in the adoption community say the same thing - and it's not that we're literally alone, my goodness I am astounding every time I begin to think of the many people walking along side us just wanting to help us get our girl home.  This is a different sort of loneliness and I really can't explain it - but rest assured that every time I feel it, I pray and try to remember that there are so many people praying along with me!

So that's today's mini update, I hope to be back soon to exclaim that the next step is reached and we have our I800 approval - hopefully this week!

To those who have been following, praying, donating, participating in fundraisers, holding fundraisers ... my thanks is eternal.

Down syndrome makes life better ...

If you aren't part of the Down syndrome community, you may have missed the recent news reports regarding Iceland "eradicating Down syndrome".

How is this possible?  It isn't.

Let me just lay it out on the table, why beat around the bush?  Diseases can be eradicated, Down syndrome is not a disease.  It is not that Down syndrome is being eradicated, it is that human beings who have three copies of the 21st chromosome (trisomy 21/Down syndrome) are.  In Iceland the rate of abortion following a diagnosis of Down syndrome is nearly 100%.  Many country's rates are just a little lower, even in the U.S. it is approximately 67%.  Staggering and shocking statistics, but nothing I didn't already know.  The reasons vary, but in large part parents are given a very bleak outlook on what life will be for a child with Down syndrome.  Worst case scenarios are often provided as fact.

Meanwhile, my heart and soul have been poured into piles of paperwork.  Checks have been written, fundraisers held.  Countless prayers have been lifted.  I check my email repeatedly each day to see if I've finally received an update on the child who will join our family - and to see if there's news of progress in this long, heart wrenching process.  For over nine months now we have clung to hope and held onto faith as we walk through the journey of adoption.  At the center of all of this is a little girl with beautiful brown eyes, the most perfect rosebud lips, and an extra 21st chromosome.

She is wanted, chosen, treasured, adored ... she is worthy.  Worthy of everything it takes to bring her home.  Worthy of having a family she can call her own.  Worthy of LIFE!  

When we talked about adopting some day, we had no idea what it would look like for our family.  Foster to adopt or private adoption?  Domestic or international adoption?  Boy or girl?  But we were sure of one thing, we wanted a child with Down syndrome.  We have seven years of experience parenting a child with Down syndrome (our biological daughter).  We know what a beautiful journey it is to know and love someone "rockin that extra chromosome"!  

... and now you know too.  

LIFE is BETTER with Down syndrome.

There's a movement happening to share that life with Down syndrome is beautiful and amazing and so totally worth it - "30 days of sowing joy"!!!  It started when Annie Reid posted this video - a call to action for parents of children with Down syndrome to share photos with the hashtag, #lifeisbetterwithyou!  By the following day it was taking off and I had an idea, let's make a video!

Annie said it and I will reiterate, this is not just about those of us who are parenting a child with Down syndrome.  There's an entire army of us shouting the worth of our children on a daily basis, but in large part our shouts don't reach beyond our own circles.  Please, consider sharing our video.  Search that hashtag and see the brightness shining into this dark world.  Share with your friends, family, and on your social media platforms!  We need you to help us shout this to the all corners of the earth!  Down syndrome is not something to rid the world of, it is a gift to be treasured!