I was anxious all weekend, hoping that monday would bring with it an I800 approval. Instead, it brought an RFE (Request for Evidence - which is the form you get when something is missing). I'll be honest, I just wanted to cry. I tried so hard not to mess up the I800 and here I managed to completely forget one of the forms. I don't know how it happened, but all that can be done is to get it sent in (thank goodness the agency is able to do this - it should be to CIS by tomorrow!).
Can I say something super duper honest ... adoption is hard. This is hard guys.
It's hard to wake up each day thinking of our daughter so far away and just wishing she was in our home, it's an ache that I've never known. It's hard to keep from feeling stressed about the finances - I actually avoid sitting down to "do the figures" because it's just too much these days. I don't want to have to think about how much money we still need, I'd much rather make a shopping list for Ruby and start checking things off so we have everything ready for her. It's hard to feel alone. Let me explain, because this is a tricky one. In fact, I was feeling super guilty and like I must be crazy until a friend said to me "it's lonely". Since then I've read several other people in the adoption community say the same thing - and it's not that we're literally alone, my goodness I am astounding every time I begin to think of the many people walking along side us just wanting to help us get our girl home. This is a different sort of loneliness and I really can't explain it - but rest assured that every time I feel it, I pray and try to remember that there are so many people praying along with me!
So that's today's mini update, I hope to be back soon to exclaim that the next step is reached and we have our I800 approval - hopefully this week!
To those who have been following, praying, donating, participating in fundraisers, holding fundraisers ... my thanks is eternal.
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