Reaching Ruby ...

Guess what guys, we're getting closer and closer to reaching our sweet girl and bringing her home!

Using a super fun timeline predictor, I'm able to guesstimate when I might travel ... and according to that, it's possible that I could be meeting Ruby as soon as mid October!!!  Guys - that's like six weeks away!!!  (and, of course, it could be longer than this {technically it could also be quicker} - the process goes how it goes and it is so unpredictable - but knowing there is even a possibility of it going quickly, I have one thing on my mind - making sure that the finances do not slow us down!)

I am so anxious and excited and all the things - LET'S GET OUR GIRL HOME!

The last time I broke down the financial pieces here, we had $8,190.54 to go to being fully funded.  We've come pretty far in just under three months, but we're still not quite there with the finances.  We also realized that some of the travel expenses are estimates and are highly likely to be more than anticipated.  With that knowledge, I bumped our fully funded goal up by $1000 - and I'm praying that will be enough to cover anything beyond what we expect.

I am thrilled to share that (counting some fundraising money that isn't actually into our fund yet, but we fully expect it to come through) we are now only about $3000 away from our fully funded goal!

So, remember that puzzle I launched way back in January?  I'm doing a relaunch!!!

This fundraiser was my most favorite idea of all the ones I found and I so desperately hoped it would be a huge success.  We still have more than half of the pieces unsponsored!  I am eager to finish it up so I can get it framed and put on our wall before Ruby comes home - this will be a forever treasured keepsake for her to be able to see so many people that helped to bring her home!

To sponsor a puzzle piece, simply donate $10 to our Reece's Rainbow FSP then send me a screen shot of your receipt and I will get your name on a puzzle piece!!!  I share these as a thank you and to see the progress our puzzle is making - and then share the puzzle once a week to watch the photos unveil as it comes together!

This is our puzzle right now ...

and to give you an idea of what's left ...

Total pieces: 252

Sponsored: 104

Available: 148

That's a bunch more photos to be revealed and those dollars will get us nearly half of what is still needed to bring our baby home!  AND as a bonus - every puzzle piece sponsored here will also unlock a piece of our virtual puzzle that is revealing our most recent photo of Ruby - and, I may be biased, but I definitely think you'll want to see her sweet face and how she has changed in just a few short months!

Here's a collage of where we're at with the virtual puzzle!  It has 63 pieces and so far 25 have been unlocked!

We so immensely appreciate everyone who has and will help us - we absolutely could not do this without each of you!  You are a part of something truly amazing and witnessing this process has been so eye opening and so beautiful for me.  I knew that I was this girl's mama in a moment ... reaching her has been the number one goal for the past ten months - then we can all begin our forever together!

Thank you!

another step closer & what comes next ...

Today I got this email:

and you better believe I was absolutely thrilled!!!  Yesterday I sort of had a feeling - I kept checking my email and thinking how cool it would be to get the I-800 approval on the hub's birthday ... and we did!!!  

So what's next?  I thought it might be helpful for me to do a little timeline here - let's start at the beginning and you can see where we're at!

China adoption timeline:

*Let me preface this by saying the first step (& therefore some subsequent steps) can look different for each family.  If you choose to adopt and let the agency match you to your child, then choosing an agency is step one.  As you all know, that was not us.  We were matched by divine intervention while looking at an advocacy site (Reece's Rainbow) and so for us, and many families, we "found the child first" and then signed with the agency she was listed with.  I will be sharing the steps as they've been for us! (*our dates)

1. submit pre-approval for identified child 

*December 7, 2016

2. wait for CCCWA to reach a decision (1-2 weeks)

3. receive pre-approval from CCCWA

*December 25, 2016 - we found out December 26, 2017

4. start home study (3-4 months to complete)

*January 23, 2017

5. simultaneously with #4, start dossier paperwork and gathering documents (3-4 months to complete)

*we started ordering documents in December 2016 and filling out paperwork as soon as we had pre-approval

6. complete home study

*March 21, 2017

7. submit I-800a (this is general approval from US immigration to adopt, 6-8 weeks to be processed)

*March 22, 2017

8. fingerprint appointment (you get a letter that your I-800a was received and then wait for a letter telling you your appointment to go in for fingerprints)

*April 14, 2017

9. DTC (send authenticated dossier to CCCWA, 1-2 weeks to log in)

*May 30, 2017

10. LID (log in date for dossier: the dossier gets logged into the system, then goes into translation, then is "in review" ... 8-10 weeks to LSC)

*June 13, 2017 LID   *June 23, 2017 I found out we were already "in process of review"

11. LSC (letter seeking confirmation: this is China's official approval to adopt the child and you sign to agree that you want to!)

*July 24, 2017

12. submit I-800 & signed LSC to CIS (this is immigration approval again, but for the specific child - you've been working on this while waiting for LSC ... 4-5 weeks to get this "provisional approval")

*August 2, 2017

13. I-800 provisional approval

*August 28, 2017 we received an RFE (request for evidence, I blogged about this - I somehow left a form out that then needed to be sent)

*August 31, 2017 I found out, via an email reply from our officer at the NBC (National Benefits Center) -I had emailed August 25- that we were granted provisional approval August 30!!!

Where we are TODAY: August 31, 2017

14. NVC letter (aka GUZ # ... 2-3 weeks)

15. complete DS-260 (more visa stuff, filed online)

16. article 5 submitted (more paperwork that must be dropped off at the US consulate and then picked up about 2 weeks later - it is then sent to CCCWA (4-5 weeks according to timeline from my agency)

17. Travel permission

18. agency requests CA (consulate appointment)

19. once CA is confirmed, you make your travel arrangements!

20. GO GET YOUR PRECIOUS BABE!!!

when ya mess up and how I feel ...

I was anxious all weekend, hoping that monday would bring with it an I800 approval.  Instead, it brought an RFE (Request for Evidence - which is the form you get when something is missing).  I'll be honest, I just wanted to cry.  I tried so hard not to mess up the I800 and here I managed to completely forget one of the forms.  I don't know how it happened, but all that can be done is to get it sent in (thank goodness the agency is able to do this - it should be to CIS by tomorrow!).

Can I say something super duper honest ... adoption is hard.  This is hard guys.

It's hard to wake up each day thinking of our daughter so far away and just wishing she was in our home, it's an ache that I've never known.  It's hard to keep from feeling stressed about the finances - I actually avoid sitting down to "do the figures" because it's just too much these days.  I don't want to have to think about how much money we still need, I'd much rather make a shopping list for Ruby and start checking things off so we have everything ready for her.  It's hard to feel alone.  Let me explain, because this is a tricky one.  In fact, I was feeling super guilty and like I must be crazy until a friend said to me "it's lonely".  Since then I've read several other people in the adoption community say the same thing - and it's not that we're literally alone, my goodness I am astounding every time I begin to think of the many people walking along side us just wanting to help us get our girl home.  This is a different sort of loneliness and I really can't explain it - but rest assured that every time I feel it, I pray and try to remember that there are so many people praying along with me!

So that's today's mini update, I hope to be back soon to exclaim that the next step is reached and we have our I800 approval - hopefully this week!

To those who have been following, praying, donating, participating in fundraisers, holding fundraisers ... my thanks is eternal.

Down syndrome makes life better ...

If you aren't part of the Down syndrome community, you may have missed the recent news reports regarding Iceland "eradicating Down syndrome".

How is this possible?  It isn't.

Let me just lay it out on the table, why beat around the bush?  Diseases can be eradicated, Down syndrome is not a disease.  It is not that Down syndrome is being eradicated, it is that human beings who have three copies of the 21st chromosome (trisomy 21/Down syndrome) are.  In Iceland the rate of abortion following a diagnosis of Down syndrome is nearly 100%.  Many country's rates are just a little lower, even in the U.S. it is approximately 67%.  Staggering and shocking statistics, but nothing I didn't already know.  The reasons vary, but in large part parents are given a very bleak outlook on what life will be for a child with Down syndrome.  Worst case scenarios are often provided as fact.

Meanwhile, my heart and soul have been poured into piles of paperwork.  Checks have been written, fundraisers held.  Countless prayers have been lifted.  I check my email repeatedly each day to see if I've finally received an update on the child who will join our family - and to see if there's news of progress in this long, heart wrenching process.  For over nine months now we have clung to hope and held onto faith as we walk through the journey of adoption.  At the center of all of this is a little girl with beautiful brown eyes, the most perfect rosebud lips, and an extra 21st chromosome.

She is wanted, chosen, treasured, adored ... she is worthy.  Worthy of everything it takes to bring her home.  Worthy of having a family she can call her own.  Worthy of LIFE!  

When we talked about adopting some day, we had no idea what it would look like for our family.  Foster to adopt or private adoption?  Domestic or international adoption?  Boy or girl?  But we were sure of one thing, we wanted a child with Down syndrome.  We have seven years of experience parenting a child with Down syndrome (our biological daughter).  We know what a beautiful journey it is to know and love someone "rockin that extra chromosome"!  

... and now you know too.  

LIFE is BETTER with Down syndrome.

There's a movement happening to share that life with Down syndrome is beautiful and amazing and so totally worth it - "30 days of sowing joy"!!!  It started when Annie Reid posted this video - a call to action for parents of children with Down syndrome to share photos with the hashtag, #lifeisbetterwithyou!  By the following day it was taking off and I had an idea, let's make a video!

Annie said it and I will reiterate, this is not just about those of us who are parenting a child with Down syndrome.  There's an entire army of us shouting the worth of our children on a daily basis, but in large part our shouts don't reach beyond our own circles.  Please, consider sharing our video.  Search that hashtag and see the brightness shining into this dark world.  Share with your friends, family, and on your social media platforms!  We need you to help us shout this to the all corners of the earth!  Down syndrome is not something to rid the world of, it is a gift to be treasured!

mini update ...

No new photo to share, just this same one - my most favorite - from the update we received in March.

Yesterday I emailed the agency to see if there was any word on the update I asked for (in early June) ... we were so spoiled last time, because we got an update in about a week.  I guess it's not usually so fast, as the agency's contact person is too far and so she actually has to contact the orphanage to have someone go out to the foster home to get updates.

The email I got back was not what I was expecting.  I was told that part of the delay in getting an update is that pink eye is "wide spread" in our girl's town ... and that she got it and is in the hospital being treated for it.

It's hard to put into words how this feels.  I just want to be there and see her for myself and know that she's ok.  The 6,543 miles that separate us feel even further right now.

Please join us in praying for Ruby's health.  That she will heal quickly and be back to her healthy self.

DTC & LID ...

We had some big news come on May 30 - DTC!!!

what's DTC?

DTC is an acronym for "dossier to China"!

ok, so what does this mean?

this means that on May 30, 2017 our dossier began it's journey to China!

the dossier is all the documents, all the forms, the home study - everything we've put our heart and soul into these past few months ... it was all for this point when we could send it off to it's destination.  Once there it gets logged into the system, then it gets translated, then it gets reviewed ... and then, THEN we get officially approval to adopt this sweet girl we now call Ruby!

usually people get LID within a few days, but for some reason ours took two entire weeks - 14 agonizing days.  We finally got work on June 13 that we were LID, an acronym for "log in date"!

I tried to be patient, but after a week and a half of not hearing of any progress (many people get updates for the stages of "in translation" and "out of translation, and our agency had said they would keep us up to date on where our dossier was at) I decided to email yesterday.  I was thrilled to read the reply email that said we are now in process of review!!!!

This is the longest stage for the dossier, as all that information has to be read and thoroughly examined!  Never the less, I was pleasantly surprised that translation went faster than I thought and progress always makes me happy.

Every step, no matter how big or how small, is one step closer to her.

One step closer to having her in our arms.

One step closer to bring her home.

One step closer to our forever.

The bottom line ...

So, I've tried to keep up with the financial part of this adoption.  I have tracked each fundraiser, each donation, I have made charts, I have spent hours figuring out the math of it all - which is actually quite confusing when you're trying to keep track of every little thing!

Along the way I think there's been a few math mistakes (it's super confusing when people want me to track money that is "on the way" and maybe those amounts got double counted?  I can't seem to pin point the mess up, I just know that we're not as far along as I thought we were)  And I can't deny the fact that originally we were under the impression that $25,000 was the total we would need - but I've come to the conclusion that perhaps that original estimate was to cover just the agency portion.

I've been getting some questions, I get it.

You want to know where we're at with the total, how close are we to that fully funded finish line?!

Some people want to know why it costs so much?  Some people want to know why people are adopting if they can't afford it?  Some people want to know where all this money goes?

That's what this post is for!  I hope I can answer all these questions. (and if you have more, please leave a comment!)

THE BREAKDOWN

So far we have paid two invoices to our agency, totaling $12,210.00

*this has covered 2/3 of the program fee, the home study, the dossier finalization fee, the humanitarian aid fee, the dossier submission fee, admin fee, in country coord (coordinator?) fee, dossier authentication, and dossier state certification.

In upcoming invoices, we will owe our agency $9,725.00

*this covers 1/3 of the program fee, in-state post adoption fees, visa processing fee, and the estimated in country travel package.

We also have in-country fees and travel expenses, totaling $13,665.00

*this covers the orphanage donation, notary fee, registration fee, application fee, passport application fee, incidental fees, medical exam fee, airfare, visa application fee, miscellany (taxis, tips. laundry, etc.)

So that's all the expenses broken down, "where the money goes"!  (& I'll mention this doesn't include the incidentals on this side of it, like mailing paperwork to the agency, fingerprints, etc.)


WHERE WE'RE AT

So if you're following, we've paid in $12,210.00 and have upcoming $23,390.00 (and yes, that means the grand total is $35,600.00 to fully fund this adoption - not including some incidentals!)

We currently have $8,773.50 credit at our agency (from paying ahead), we have $4027.14 in our Reece's Rainbow FSP, and $2,398.82 saved.  This means that of that $23,390.00 left to pay, we have $15,199.46 towards it.  That leaves $8,190.54 to come up with.

I am confident we CAN DO THIS!  We've come so far already!

$8,190.54 to go ... let's do this!!!


WORTH IT

Why?  My quick answer to all the "why" questions is, because she's worth it.

"why does it cost so much" ... I don't know, but I know she's worth it.  (and to be clear, we are not buying our daughter - we are simply paying all the legal & otherwise necessary fees and expenses to make her a member of our family.)

"why are you adopting if you can't afford it" ... because she's worth it.  She's worth working hard to fundraise, she's worth humbling ourselves to say we can't do this alone, she's worth limiting our spending to necessities (in January & February I literally bought nothing but gas, food, and personal needs - I've since eased up, but I'm still budgeting!  And no, all this money I've talked about was not all fundraised/donated - it came from us too!)  We can absolutely afford to take care of another child, that's what really matters here.  Having over $35K on hand is quite another story.

"why China?" ... because that's where our daughter is, and regardless of location all children deserve a family where they can know love and realize their worth!


So that's where we're at friends.  Our dossier was sent May 30 and we're anxiously awaiting to hear that it's been logged in to the system.  We long for the day Ruby is here, home with us.  We talk about her all the time, we wonder out loud what she'll think of us and life in America ... and to settle my heart just a tad, each day I watch her videos.  Meanwhile, we just focus on crossing that financial finish line - reaching the top of that mountain!