Gotcha Day ...

So yah, there has been very little time for online activity!  But here it is, Ruby's gotcha day video is up!!!

get ready guys ...

I leave in a week ... I've been asked how I'm feeling? am I scared, am I nervous? am I excited? to all of the above the answer is YES.

guys, I'm about to travel half way around the world ... to a country where I don't speak the language (I tried to learn, my brain can't seem to process it) as a first time adoptive mom and that's nerve wracking!

but more at the forefront of my mind is that half way around the world a little girl's entire world is about to flipped upside down, and we don't know if she is even aware of this. she's about to be taken away from everything she's ever known ... and as excited as I am to finally have her in my arms, I am so heartbroken for her.

the truth is that even though I do have fears (the facts are there, if you have educated yourself regarding adoption you are very aware that it is not the rainbows & sunshine gotcha day video that you saw ... don't get me wrong, those videos are beautiful and special - and heck yah we'll have one - but adoption is a big, huge deal full of unknowns, trauma, grieving, and so much more) I feel they pale in comparison to what our new daughter is about to go through.

please be in prayer for her precious spirit and heart. I want the heavens stormed for my beautiful girl! I want her to know that I am there to love her forever - that I am safe, that I will care for her, that we are hers!

and please pray for me too, in particular I need prayer that my emotions can stay in tact, I'm so nervous I will cry and freak her out! (I'm a crier, after all, and I just imagine finally seeing her in person is going to bring up every emotion from these eleven months!)

and know, I am choosing to go with strength and I would love it if you would pray along with me for that!
I have a theme song! I know, I know, me and my theme songs! (haha) but I am holding these words (aka: lyrics) close to my heart as prayers to get me through this journey. it's not a new song, but it's new to me and I more than love it!! lions by skillet

I am strong when I am weak,
I will trust, and overcome
I will defy my inhibition
by His power, I will go
I don't want safe and quiet, I don't want to run and hide
this is our time, I'm not gonna miss it
He's gone before us
I'll take it hard in faith - with every step I take
I will walk as a lion

celebrating Down syndrome awareness month ...

It's hard to believe it's been eight years since those anxious days as I awaited the results of my amniocentesis.  There were two indications of a possible chromosome abnormality - hydrocephalus and holes in the heart.  Initially I turned down an amnio, but ultimately went ahead with it so we would know if anything was going on.

October 22 was the day my doctor called and said "I'm sorry, your baby does have down syndrome".  Even then I was a little annoyed at his choice of words.  I remember when Zoey was a baby I wanted to go back and say "look - she's perfect, please don't tell any more moms you're sorry".  I never did, but I believe that simple sentence is a big part of what drove me to share our life with Zoey and what drives me to advocate that Down syndrome is nothing to ever be sorry for!

Fun news - I recently started a vlog channel on youtube!!!  (if you're reading this thinking - "what's a vlog?" ... it's a video blog!!!  it's funny because going through old videos I was reminded that I actually had this idea way back in 2008 but it just never happened!!)  I couldn't come up with a clever name, then I thought about how Zoey always calls our instagram page "the Zoey show" (it's so cute, her and daddy sit together and look at the pics and videos - she loves it) and I thought, this idea could work!  My channel is my perspective and my story of our kids and family, so why not The Mama Show.  Technically not a "show", but hey it's fun!

I'm just getting started, but wanted to do something for Down syndrome awareness month and to sort of introduce Zoey and our story with her as she's sure to be seen a lot on the vlog.  The two oldest kids are very particular about being filmed and shared, so I have a feeling there will be a lot of Liam, Zoey, & Ruby!!!
 

My hope is to post regularly (once things settle down after getting Ruby home) and I hope you'll join us, you can subscribe to our channel so you never miss a new video!!  And of course thumbs up, comments, and shares are very appreciated as we get going!!!

thanks so much friends, happy Down syndrome awareness month!!!

a Birthday wish ...

oh sweet, precious Ruby.  the day is approaching, I was determined to have you in my arms before your fifth birthday ... but it wasn't meant to be my love.

as I sit here, looking at your photos and watching the videos we've been given, I can't help but wonder what your birthday will look like.  will you have balloons and cake?  will you have presents?  will you be celebrated for the amazing girl you are?  I also can't help but wonder what each birthday has been for you ... I so desperately wish I could be there to make sure you know how loved and adored you are!!  

the good news is, our article 5 was picked up September 28 ... this means the next steps are travel approval and confirming a consulate appointment.  once we have those two things, we buy the plane tickets and I get ready to go bring you home!  

(just our luck, there was an 8 day holiday to hold that up, but it's almost over now and we should get good news this coming week!)

so that's where we're at in this big, long, heart wrenching journey to call you our daughter!

I hope you have a beautiful birthday baby girl!

Happy Birthday Ruby!

Reaching Ruby ...

Guess what guys, we're getting closer and closer to reaching our sweet girl and bringing her home!

Using a super fun timeline predictor, I'm able to guesstimate when I might travel ... and according to that, it's possible that I could be meeting Ruby as soon as mid October!!!  Guys - that's like six weeks away!!!  (and, of course, it could be longer than this {technically it could also be quicker} - the process goes how it goes and it is so unpredictable - but knowing there is even a possibility of it going quickly, I have one thing on my mind - making sure that the finances do not slow us down!)

I am so anxious and excited and all the things - LET'S GET OUR GIRL HOME!

The last time I broke down the financial pieces here, we had $8,190.54 to go to being fully funded.  We've come pretty far in just under three months, but we're still not quite there with the finances.  We also realized that some of the travel expenses are estimates and are highly likely to be more than anticipated.  With that knowledge, I bumped our fully funded goal up by $1000 - and I'm praying that will be enough to cover anything beyond what we expect.

I am thrilled to share that (counting some fundraising money that isn't actually into our fund yet, but we fully expect it to come through) we are now only about $3000 away from our fully funded goal!

So, remember that puzzle I launched way back in January?  I'm doing a relaunch!!!

This fundraiser was my most favorite idea of all the ones I found and I so desperately hoped it would be a huge success.  We still have more than half of the pieces unsponsored!  I am eager to finish it up so I can get it framed and put on our wall before Ruby comes home - this will be a forever treasured keepsake for her to be able to see so many people that helped to bring her home!

To sponsor a puzzle piece, simply donate $10 to our Reece's Rainbow FSP then send me a screen shot of your receipt and I will get your name on a puzzle piece!!!  I share these as a thank you and to see the progress our puzzle is making - and then share the puzzle once a week to watch the photos unveil as it comes together!

This is our puzzle right now ...

and to give you an idea of what's left ...

Total pieces: 252

Sponsored: 104

Available: 148

That's a bunch more photos to be revealed and those dollars will get us nearly half of what is still needed to bring our baby home!  AND as a bonus - every puzzle piece sponsored here will also unlock a piece of our virtual puzzle that is revealing our most recent photo of Ruby - and, I may be biased, but I definitely think you'll want to see her sweet face and how she has changed in just a few short months!

Here's a collage of where we're at with the virtual puzzle!  It has 63 pieces and so far 25 have been unlocked!

We so immensely appreciate everyone who has and will help us - we absolutely could not do this without each of you!  You are a part of something truly amazing and witnessing this process has been so eye opening and so beautiful for me.  I knew that I was this girl's mama in a moment ... reaching her has been the number one goal for the past ten months - then we can all begin our forever together!

Thank you!

another step closer & what comes next ...

Today I got this email:

and you better believe I was absolutely thrilled!!!  Yesterday I sort of had a feeling - I kept checking my email and thinking how cool it would be to get the I-800 approval on the hub's birthday ... and we did!!!  

So what's next?  I thought it might be helpful for me to do a little timeline here - let's start at the beginning and you can see where we're at!

China adoption timeline:

*Let me preface this by saying the first step (& therefore some subsequent steps) can look different for each family.  If you choose to adopt and let the agency match you to your child, then choosing an agency is step one.  As you all know, that was not us.  We were matched by divine intervention while looking at an advocacy site (Reece's Rainbow) and so for us, and many families, we "found the child first" and then signed with the agency she was listed with.  I will be sharing the steps as they've been for us! (*our dates)

1. submit pre-approval for identified child 

*December 7, 2016

2. wait for CCCWA to reach a decision (1-2 weeks)

3. receive pre-approval from CCCWA

*December 25, 2016 - we found out December 26, 2017

4. start home study (3-4 months to complete)

*January 23, 2017

5. simultaneously with #4, start dossier paperwork and gathering documents (3-4 months to complete)

*we started ordering documents in December 2016 and filling out paperwork as soon as we had pre-approval

6. complete home study

*March 21, 2017

7. submit I-800a (this is general approval from US immigration to adopt, 6-8 weeks to be processed)

*March 22, 2017

8. fingerprint appointment (you get a letter that your I-800a was received and then wait for a letter telling you your appointment to go in for fingerprints)

*April 14, 2017

9. DTC (send authenticated dossier to CCCWA, 1-2 weeks to log in)

*May 30, 2017

10. LID (log in date for dossier: the dossier gets logged into the system, then goes into translation, then is "in review" ... 8-10 weeks to LSC)

*June 13, 2017 LID   *June 23, 2017 I found out we were already "in process of review"

11. LSC (letter seeking confirmation: this is China's official approval to adopt the child and you sign to agree that you want to!)

*July 24, 2017

12. submit I-800 & signed LSC to CIS (this is immigration approval again, but for the specific child - you've been working on this while waiting for LSC ... 4-5 weeks to get this "provisional approval")

*August 2, 2017

13. I-800 provisional approval

*August 28, 2017 we received an RFE (request for evidence, I blogged about this - I somehow left a form out that then needed to be sent)

*August 31, 2017 I found out, via an email reply from our officer at the NBC (National Benefits Center) -I had emailed August 25- that we were granted provisional approval August 30!!!

Where we are TODAY: August 31, 2017

14. NVC letter (aka GUZ # ... 2-3 weeks)

15. complete DS-260 (more visa stuff, filed online)

16. article 5 submitted (more paperwork that must be dropped off at the US consulate and then picked up about 2 weeks later - it is then sent to CCCWA (4-5 weeks according to timeline from my agency)

17. Travel permission

18. agency requests CA (consulate appointment)

19. once CA is confirmed, you make your travel arrangements!

20. GO GET YOUR PRECIOUS BABE!!!

when ya mess up and how I feel ...

I was anxious all weekend, hoping that monday would bring with it an I800 approval.  Instead, it brought an RFE (Request for Evidence - which is the form you get when something is missing).  I'll be honest, I just wanted to cry.  I tried so hard not to mess up the I800 and here I managed to completely forget one of the forms.  I don't know how it happened, but all that can be done is to get it sent in (thank goodness the agency is able to do this - it should be to CIS by tomorrow!).

Can I say something super duper honest ... adoption is hard.  This is hard guys.

It's hard to wake up each day thinking of our daughter so far away and just wishing she was in our home, it's an ache that I've never known.  It's hard to keep from feeling stressed about the finances - I actually avoid sitting down to "do the figures" because it's just too much these days.  I don't want to have to think about how much money we still need, I'd much rather make a shopping list for Ruby and start checking things off so we have everything ready for her.  It's hard to feel alone.  Let me explain, because this is a tricky one.  In fact, I was feeling super guilty and like I must be crazy until a friend said to me "it's lonely".  Since then I've read several other people in the adoption community say the same thing - and it's not that we're literally alone, my goodness I am astounding every time I begin to think of the many people walking along side us just wanting to help us get our girl home.  This is a different sort of loneliness and I really can't explain it - but rest assured that every time I feel it, I pray and try to remember that there are so many people praying along with me!

So that's today's mini update, I hope to be back soon to exclaim that the next step is reached and we have our I800 approval - hopefully this week!

To those who have been following, praying, donating, participating in fundraisers, holding fundraisers ... my thanks is eternal.